October 11th, 1988
Shyla the Super Gecko

The day has been about to arrive for some time, and I am still unprepared. It is the first October 11th. An ultimatum for me. For all of us.

Dad, mom? Not today.

I sit in this quiet conference room nervous to have a phone stare at me which waits for keys to be anxiously pressed into submission across a line of honesty. I will not leave until it is done, over.

It comes to me. I pick up the receiver. This call is my first and it scares me. I pull out my address book and flip to “Grandma”. Slowly, glancing back at each number before my finger bears down on the keypad. The phone rings three times and she picks up.

“Hello?”

“Grandma? Hi. How are you?”

Hers is a long answer which includes mentions of numerous familiar people I’ve never met which means she is fine.

“Grandma, I have something to tell you…I hope it’s okay, I mean it is, I just want it to be okay for you too. Grandma, (I pause a moment that seems like minutes), I’m gay…”

“Are you sure?”, comes her reply.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“I thought I was at one time. Your grandfather and I had a terrible fight and I thought if this is how men are, I want no part of it. I began to socialize with the women, but I was really in love with your grandfather and we got back together. So, did you have a fight with a boyfriend or something?”

“No. I’ve known for a while. It’s just today is special. It’s October 11th and we’re supposed to tell someone. You’re the first I’ve ever told.”

She pauses for a moment.

“It will be harder on you, you know? You can do it, I am sure, but it will be a more difficult life. But if it is who you are, then just know that.”

I pause for a moment.

“Thank you for understanding”, I say. “I love you.”

I hang up the handset and breathe deep. I push the phone away, stand up, exit the lonesome conference room and go back to work, relieved and happy.